If the Shoe Fits
by Blues32
Summary: Halloween special! Whoo hoo! What looks like an ordinary Halloween because a real pain when the Titans are cursed to become their costumes. Slight violence. Multiple pairings. Read and review.
1. Disclaimer

DISCLAIMER.

I do not own Teen Titans. If I did, there would be a season six. Teen Titans belong to DC Comics. I hold no claim over ANYTHING in this story that could provide money…because if I did, I wouldn't need to get up at four thirty in the morning. Now the normal Halloween special. I kind of rushed this one, so keep that in mind. Since today is Halloween, I'll post the whole story rather then leave a chapter out this time. Read and review anyway, would you?


	2. Chapter 1

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**If the Shoe Fits…"**

**Chapter One**

**Titan Tower: Raven's Room**

Raven sighed as she sat up in bed. Morning had just come on the 30th of October. She rubbed her eyes before preparing for her day. Of course, no morning was complete without a cup of tea. Opening the door of her room, she responded with a slight grunt as the rubber spider came into view.

Raven: (muttering) Stupid Beast Boy…

Raven brushed the dangling decoration out of the way and walked down the hall. Halloween. Oh how she HATED Halloween. Now, this surprised many people. This in itself was the problem. Just because she was the daughter of a demon lord, she had to like Halloween? Just because she was an avid horror reader, kept her room lit only by candle light, had several old skulls, and many tomes lining her walls, she was a fan of All Hallows Eve? …okay, maybe it was a logical conclusion, but still a false one and one her friends wouldn't drop no matter how many times she explained it. They'd ask for her opinion on decorations. She didn't care. They'd ask her to cast a spell or use her powers to make the tower scarier. She flat out refused. …and she HATED candy corn. It tasted like crap. Oh well. There was nothing she could do, really. What WAS kind of amusing was the fact that Shade DID like Halloween. He loved it, being a bigger horror fan then she was. She liked to indulge in fantasy novels now and then, but not him. Yet not once did anyone ask HIS opinion. Nobody asked HIM to make the tower scarier. With his powers, he could do it. He could do it easily. Entering the main room, she found it thankfully empty. She went over to the cabinet and removed her tea from it, ignoring the rubber decapitated heads. Digging through the pots and pans, she found the kettle. After making her tea, she sat down and stared to sip it, slowly waking up more and more. She flicked one of the small plastic spiders off the table before setting her cup down.

Raven: (sarcastic) _Yes, it's going to be a beautiful Halloween this year._

::CUE THEME::

**Outside Titans Tower**

Terra walked up to a large outcropping, tapping her chin in thought. With a shrug, she held up her hand, eyes glowing. The outcropping twisted and molded into a statue of a jack-o'-lantern. It was a bit obvious, but it could never be over done. She smiled. Decorating the outside of your home was easy when you can manipulate the earth. Turning, Terra raised her hand up high. Numerous tombstones popped out of the ground, blank of course. She'd get around to inscribing names and funny engravings later. Suddenly she snapped her fingers. She had one.

Terra: "Here Lies Tenna Jordon. Died of Fright. Now the question can only be, what in the world did Tenna see?"

A bad joke, she knew, but that was the point. She just had to do it right away, lest she forget it. Terra continued her unique form of decorating. Gargoyles, bizarre twisted faces carved into the rocks, and of course, a statue of the grim reaper, scythe in hand were all added to the island. Come November 1st, she'd be able to wipe it all out, returning everything to how it was before…then later she could make turkeys. Before going in, she made a slight change to the back of the island. Now everyone coming in from sea would see the face of a giant skull.

**Main Room**

Starfire flew around the room, sticking those plastic thingies to the windows. You know what I mean. Beast Boy looked up from his spraying fake spider webs around. …though in theory, he could make real ones…but that would take forever. Besides, Shade had arachnophobia. Last time he turned into a spider, Shade tried to squish him good.

Beast Boy: Uh…Star?

Starfire didn't look up. She just kept covering the window.

Starfire: Yes, Beast Boy?

Beast Boy: …maybe you should spread those out a bit?

Starfire had been putting the decorations all on one window. She floated back a bit and tilted her head.

Starfire: …I suppose you are correct. What is it you shall be going as this Halloween, my friend?

Beast Boy: (grinning) You know the rules, Star. We don't tell each other. We wait until the day of the party to surprise each other.

Starfire sighed. Yeah, that sucked. It was a known fact that Starfire didn't enjoy secrets…well, not ones kept from her anyway. Of course, she sucked with secrets so nobody ever shared any with her. Just because she accidentally revealed that Raven had that rash… Honestly she had thought it had gone away by then! It really wasn't fair. One mistake (okay, three or four) and she was branded for life. She started peeling some of the things off the window. Damn it, they were easier to put on then they were to take off.

**Garage**

Shade grumbled. When he asked to help with the Halloween decorations, this wasn't what he had in mind. He was stuck helping Cyborg build some of the more sophisticated decorations. Why they didn't just use the ones from last year, Shade didn't know. He also didn't know why they didn't just let HIM do it. He could do it! Raven SAID he could do it, but nobody listens. Then they go and ask HER to do it. One of these days he was going to strangle somebody. Probably Beast Boy.

Cyborg: Yo, hand me the blow torch.

Shade groaned, leaning against the wall.

Shade: You got one in your damn FINGER!

Cyborg: …so?

Shade wondered if it was possible to strangle Cyborg. He grabbed the blow torch and put it into Cyborg's outstretched hand.

Shade: This is a waste of time. I could turn this place into a horror show in seconds and you all insist with these stupid little decorations.

Cyborg sighed, working on his…whatever it was. Shade wasn't sure yet.

Cyborg: We'd kind of like to SURVIVE Halloween.

Shade: You'd live! You think I can't control my own shadows?

Cyborg stared at him for a moment. Shade sighed.

Shade: Okay, there was that one time.

More staring.

Shade: …alright, alright. I get it. The point is, I was under stress at those times. I'd be more relaxed doing this.

Cyborg: Ain't happening, man. Forget it. You want to help, convince Raven to fix up the tower.

Shade hit his head on the wall. Again with this crap.

Shade: She doesn't want to do it! Why can't you get that through your heads, man?! Sheesh.

Cyborg: C'mon. You know it would be sweet.

Shade: Last time we almost got killed! I don't care what Robin says, those things she created were probably dangerous.

Cyborg snickered.

Cyborg: You're just chicken.

Shade: I'm not chicken! Are you nuts? Chicken?! ME?!

Cyborg: Methinks he doth protest too much.

Shade tilted his head.

Shade: Methinks who what?

Cyborg: …nothing.

**Raven's Room**

Raven lay out on her bed. She wished Halloween would hurry up and get here. Better yet, she wished it would hurry up and PASS. Nobody would leave her alone. How could she enjoy a book if nobody left her alone? Was Raven going to have to choke somebody? Suddenly there was a knock on her door.

Raven: If you want to ask me to decorate the tower, then I might I suggest a location to insert that question.

Robin: (outside) Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to get the candy and drinks for the party.

Raven thought for a minute. Getting out of tower did seem like a good idea about then.

Raven: …you won't ask me to use my powers on the tower in anyway while we're out?

Robin: Nope.

Raven: Fine…but I'm flying over. Last time I clung onto the bike with you, Shade thought I was cheating on him because of the smell.

**Grocery Store: Sometime Later**

Raven picked up a bag of bite sized candy and tossed it into the basket.

Raven: Why'd you ask me to come along anyway? Why not Starfire?

Robin put some of the ever so disgusting candy corn into the basket.

Robin: You seem so uptight. I figured you could use a break from the tower for a while.

Raven: …well…thanks.

Robin: And she was busy.

Raven sweatdropped. Well, that didn't do much for her self-esteem.

Robin: You really don't like Halloween, do you?

Raven: Nope. Is that really so surprising?

Robin: A little. Do you like ANY holiday?

Raven thought for a moment. Should she be serious or sarcastic here? …sarcastic.

Raven: Well, I'm quite partial to Arbor Day.

Robin: (smirking) I bet you don't even know what it's about.

Raven shrugged. She picked up some punch mix and tossed it into the basket.

Raven: So long as I'm not bugged by people wanting me to decorate, I'm fine with it.

Robin: Arbor Day isn't a real holiday anyway. It's only a national Holiday.

Raven: You never specified.

Robin shrugged.

Robin: Now I am.

Raven: Hmm. I guess I don't like any holiday.

Robin: Christmas?

Raven: Too commercial. And nobody ever likes my presents anyway.

That was true. Of course, the fact that she got people occult items nobody ever heard of or could possibly want probably had something to do with it.

Robin: You got Terra a vial of graveyard dust.

Raven: It was a pendant…and it was graveyard MIST, not dust. It's supposed to ward off evil spirits that come and take a year of your life away.

Robin stared at her for a moment.

Robin: You just wanted to see if she'd believe you and wear it.

Raven: No, I'm serious.

Robin: What about the doll you gave Starfire?

Raven: What about it?

Robin: Raven, it tried to strangle her in her sleep.

Raven frowned.

Raven: It did? Nobody ever told me that. What happened to it?

Robin: Starfire locked it in a trunk in her closet.

Raven: Oh. Well, problem solved.

Robin sighed. He was beginning to think Raven was sincerely trying to give the best gift possible. …that was scary. What did she give people when she WASN'T trying to be nice? A vial of the Black Plague?

**Titan Tower: Main Room, That Evening**

Beast Boy stood in front of his friends. On the table in front of the TV was row after row of movie boxes.

Beast Boy: Okay dudes and duddetes…and Shade…

Shade flipped him off. Beast Boy ignored him.

Beast Boy: It's time once again for the horror movie pick of the night!

Reaching under the table, Beast Boy pressed the button on a hand held recording device. It played applause and cheers.

Cyborg: Now that's just sad.

Starfire: I must agree.

Beast Boy stuck out his tongue at them.

Beast Boy: Just pick a movie.

Before they could do that, the alarm went off.

Beast Boy: Aaah, MAN! Every time!

Robin typed some stuff into the computer.

Robin: …Mumbo.

Raven: Great. My favorite punching bag.

**Greg Gregor's Museum of Art**

Mumbo went around the museum with his magic wand. With a flick of his wrist and a wave of the wand, he shrank the painting and sculptures down so he could fit them easily into his pockets. He was getting ready to shrink down a Greek vase when a voice rang out behind him with the usual…less then witty banter.

Robin: Hope you're ready for your next trick. It's where you disappear from here and reappear in a jail cell for a few years.

Starfire: Robin, please do not do that again. We ask you this every time.

Mumbo: The only one disappearing around here is YOU!

Mumbo waved his wand. Several antique models of medieval armor came to life, weapons drawn.

Robin: Titans, GO!

Cyborg pulled his fist back and got ready to smash one of the living suits of armor.

Robin: Cyborg, NO! These things are priceless! We can't just SMASH them!

Cyborg: Say what?!

The armor he was ready to hit slammed its mace into Cyborg's shoulder. Not that it really hurt or anything…but it did dent up the mace along with his shoulder. Cyborg suddenly had an idea and yanked the armor's helmet off. As soon as he did, the armor collapsed. Mumbo gulped. Well, that didn't work like he planned. Raven chanted her words and all of the enchanted armor lost their heads, literally.

Robin: Give it up, Mumbo.

Mumbo: Not yet. I've got one last trick up my sleeve.

Shade: You usually have more.

Beast Boy: He needs longer sleeves.

Mumbo waved his wand just as Robin threw a birdarang. It cleaved the wand in half, but not before the spell hit them. Usually once the wand was broken, the spells he cast were too, but not this spell. There was a bright flash that blinded all of the Titans. When the light faded…they noticed they had all undergone certain…changes. Namely they were all wearing the costumes they had picked for Halloween. At least it looked that way at first. Then, after their eyes completely recovered, they realized it was a bit more serious then that.

Starfire: Oh no! I am hideous!

Starfire felt her long pointed nose and whined, nearly in tears. Her skin had turned a disgusting green and she had a wart on the end of her long nose. Her body was wrinkled and old, despite her still prominent red hair. Her clothes had changed (thankfully) to a long black…thing…which thankfully covered EVERYTHING but her head and hands. Her voice remained youthful, looking odd coming out of her now ancient frame.

Terra: Well…truly this is not much of a change…yet mayhap I have spoken too early.

Terra's outfit had changed to one of ancient Greece. Her costume had been of a Greek goddess. She was going as the statue of one. Her usually unmovable hairstyle had shortened, but other then that she looked the same. She wasn't even any taller. Her speech patterns, obviously, had changed in accordance with her new appearance.

Terra: Zounds, Garfield. Thou hast received the larger punishment by far.

Beast Boy's werewolf costume was a pretty cheap one made up of a mask, gloves, and special shoes. The point of it was to resemble the old Wolfman from the movies, with the shirt and pants. The spell, however, was not so particular. He was in the shirt and pants alright, but they tore in several places due to his hulking form…which oddly enough was still green. He let out a confused yelp as he realized he couldn't speak…and he was pretty sure he had fleas. Robin was regretting his costume choice as well. Had he known this was going to happen, he wouldn't have been a pirate. At least he didn't have a peg leg…but the hook hand sure was inconvenient.

Robin: D'arr…this be an unfortunate turn of events. …did I just say "arr"?

Parrot: Did I just say ARRRR? SQUAWK!

Robin jumped. The once stuffed parrot on the costume's shoulder was now very much alive. He was pretty sure he didn't want to take his patch off either. There was a loud cracking sound as Cyborg tried to move. Have you ever seen a skeleton that was half metal, half bone? The Titans hadn't either until today. His jaw creaked as he spoke.

Cyborg: …okay, this is pretty screwed up right here.

Raven: Well, this is going to ruin my image.

Raven had chosen to go as a homicidal maniac. She wore rather plain clothes, a blue t-shirt and black pants with white sneakers. Over her clothes she had a blood stained smock. Loosely gripped in her right hand was a cleaver. It looked…well used.

Raven: I don't exactly look the superhero right now, do I? I mean…Shade, stop that!

Shade was licking the blood off the blade in her hand.

Shade: I can't help it, I'm a friggin' vampire.

Terra: Ne'er have I seen a vampire as offensive to mine eyes as thou, Shade.

Shade: I don't agree with the old Dracula movies, okay?

Shade was not wearing a cape and fancy type suit. Rather he was wearing dirty rags that barely covered him. His face was gaunt. His nails had turned black and his skin was whiter then Raven's…if that was possible. Raven pulled her cleaver away from him, suddenly filled with a need to protect it.

Shade: (whining) Come on! I'm thirsty!

Raven: No! Go feed on a cow or something.

Cyborg: Just a thought, guys…but maybe we should get out of here before somebody sees us?

Robin: Aye, there be a good idea.

Terra: Ugh. Why canst thou be more similar to the pirates of the motion pictures of recent days? They are most pleasing to mine eyes.

Beast Boy made a noise that sounded a lot like "HUH?!" and stared at her. Terra shrugged and let out an "eep" as her toga started sliding down. She quickly fixed it before anything overly embarrassing happened.

Terra: Gadzooks! Why didst mine garb not turn to stone as well?

Starfire: May we PLEASE return to the tower now? I do not wish to be photographed in this condition.

Robin: One second lass. This scurvy dog has a question to be answering now.

Robin picked the now powerless Mumbo up, his hook held up to the old man's face.

Robin: Why is your magic still working, old man?

Mumbo: That wasn't a spell, it was a curse.

Raven: Where'd a hack magician like you learn a curse?

Mumbo: Comic book.

Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at Raven. He told her comics were important. She held up her cleaver.

Raven: Keep sticking that thing out. See what I do.

The tongue went back into his mouth pretty quick.

Shade: Can I bite him?

Cyborg: Would you chill?

Shade: I'm hungry! I'll only take a little! I swear!

Robin looked like he was considering it. Mumbo gulped.

Mumbo: Look, I can't fix it because you broke my wand, but it will wear off just after midnight on Halloween!

Starfire: …do you mean on Halloween or November 1st?

Mumbo: Huh?

Starfire: Technically, 12:01, three minutes after 11:59 on Halloween night is November 1st. So which is it?

Mumbo: …November 1st.

Starfire: (calmly) Ah…I see.

**END PART ONE**


	3. Chapter 2

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**If the Shoe Fits…"**

**Chapter Two**

**Titan Tower: Main Room**

Starfire: (frantic) We are trapped like this!

Shade: Somebody better get me some freaking BLOOD before November 1st!

Raven: Stop bitching about the blood! I'll give you BLOOD!

Raven suddenly planted her cleaver in his skull. She gasped and pulled it back out, looking as shocked as everyone else.

Raven: I…I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me.

Staring the best he could at his new wound…and going cross-eyed doing it…Shade slowly reached up and poked the gash in his head.

Shade: Wow. That feels weird. Doesn't necessarily hurt…but it's not pleasant. …and now I'm even thirstier.

Cyborg extended his hand toward Raven.

Cyborg: Maybe you should let one of us take that cleaver from you, Raven.

Raven: NO! It's mine!

Raven held the cleaver like it was a small child in her protection. The others sweatdropped nervously. Robin rubbed his chin with his good hand. He already had several cuts from poking himself with the hook.

Robin: D'arrr…t'would seem that our costumes have no affected our memories, but our minds be under their sway.

Terra: T'would seem that this hex is most stubborn. Early I attempted to change mine garb and it shift back into this toga. Though this head wreath is most exotic. I believe I shall keepth it.

Beast Boy started chasing his tail. That stupid tail…mocking him with its…tail-ness. It knows what it did! Attaching itself to his backside without even asking…Beast Boy would make it pay! Terra poked him on the head.

Terra: Garfield, desist.

Raven: I can help.

Beast Boy yelped and jumped behind the couch to put distance between him and the cleaver wielding girl. Raven shrugged.

Raven: I was just going to hold this tail out for him.

Terra: After thou severed it!

Raven: I was not!

Terra: Bull droppings!

Robin: That be enough out of ye, you scallywags!

Parrot: You scallywags! You scallywags! SQUAWK!

Raven and Terra went silent. Robin sat down and leaned against the arm of the couch.

Robin: I need to be doing some thinking…

Shade: …hate to bring this up again, but if I don't get something to drink soon, I'm seriously going to bite somebody. …probably Beast Boy.

Cyborg: We got the spare blood supplies in the med-lab.

In order to make sure they had enough blood in cases of emergencies, the team had blood drawn from their veins periodically and stored them away in the proper storage unit. That way they wouldn't need to concern themselves too much with blood types and what not. Shade was flying down the halls in seconds.

Robin: Somebody go with him. He'll drink it all if we be letting him.

Cyborg: On it.

Cyborg went off after Shade. Terra leaned over the couch and gently stroked the parrot's head.

Terra: We needth birdseed.

Robin: …d'arrr.

Starfire: …I have a sudden craving for prune juice and apple sauce.

Raven: And I think Beast Boy needs a flea collar…and some dog shampoo.

All of these things were good points. The only question was, how to get it. They couldn't very well go out themselves. In their current condition it was just not going to happen. Starfire didn't want anyone to see her all green, warty, and wrinkled. Cyborg was…bones. Robin couldn't get the damn bird off his shoulder and therefore couldn't go into a store…they don't allow pets, you see (helper dogs not included). Terra was…well…made of stone. Beast Boy wasn't capable of speech (and that was the least of his current problems). Shade MIGHT be able to pass for a human…poorly dressed human with a terrible skin condition and obvious malnutrition, but a human nonetheless. Raven was probably the most suited, despite the bloodstained smock she couldn't remove. Simply explain that it was part of a costume for a party and that she was doing a last minute run for her parents and she could get away with it. Robin sighed.

Robin: D'arr…looks like it be up to ye, Raven.

Raven: Great. Hold on a second.

Raven held up her hand and concentrated. The couch glowed black and rose up with Robin still sitting in it.

Robin: Avast! What are ye doing?!

Raven: Making sure I can still use my powers.

Terra: So thou art a madwoman with super powers? That doest not seem fair.

Raven shrugged.

Raven: Life isn't fair…though it was much more of a strain then it should have been. Make me a list, Robin.

Robin: …I…can't.

Raven: …why not?

Robin: Because I be right handed.

Robin held up his right hand, which happened to be the hook.

Robin: …I can't write with me left hand.

Terra: I'll do it.

Terra went off to get a piece of paper and a pencil.

Terra: _The guy can hit a fly off the wall with a funny shaped boomerang but can't write with his left hand. There's something wrong with that._

**Med-lab**

Cyborg entered the med-lab in time to stop Shade from downing a second bag. He had blood running down his mouth. Obviously the vampire his costume was designed after was a messy eater. …unfortunately by "stop" I mean Cyborg grabbed Shade's arm and when Shade pulled away, it snapped off. The shock of having pulled his friend's arm off was enough to restore rational thinking in the new vampire. He managed to put the bags of blood back in the refrigeration unit before turning back to his (please don't let me say it) disarmed friend (damn it). Not knowing what else to do, he extended his arm back to him.

Shade: Uh…here. Sorry about that.

Cyborg: …you ripped off my frigging arm!

Shade sighed and, on a hunch, tried to reconnect the dislocated arm. It snapped back like it was a toy. Cyborg moved it around to make sure it still worked.

Cyborg: You got to leave some of that stuff for later. We got about four days to go.

Shade: Yeah, I know…but it just…it's hard to describe, man…uh…oh, I know! It's like a potato chip.

Cyborg would have rolled his eyes if he had any.

Cyborg: Let me guess. You can't eat just one.

Shade: …that's a good analogy, but I was going to say that they have different flavors.

Cyborg shook his head. Shade shrugged.

Shade: They do. I can smell it.

Cyborg: You're an idiot.

Shade: Hey, screw you. I'll keep the arm next time.

Shade grumbled and stomped off, his hungry temporarily satisfied.

**Starfire's Room**

Terra sighed and shook her head from where she was leaning against the wall.

Terra: Starfire, this shall ne'er…

Starfire: Silence, please. I am thinking.

Terra rolled her eyes. Starfire had begged the stone girl to accompany her to her room. Curious, Terra had agreed. Had she known THIS was why she was being dragged here, she would have turned Starfire down. Starfire wanted to find the right combination of make up that would somehow hide her…sudden elderliness. In Terra's opinion, it was a hopeless cause, but Starfire was in denial. It was odd. Terra never pegged the girl for the vain type…maybe she just had a fear of aging. Starfire made sounds of worry as she tried to think of what to use. Finally she snapped her fingers and got to work. Terra sighed as she watched the layers of make up disappear upon contact. Apparently NOTHING could alter their appearances. Starfire groaned and threw the make up across the room.

Starfire: Curses! It does nothing!

Terra: As I had stated.

Starfire turned quickly and pointed a gnarled finger at Terra. Before she could say anything there was a loud snap. Her eyes widened and she gently placed a hand on her back.

Terra: …art thou well?

Starfire: I…I think I have injured my spinal column. I…please aid me in reaching my bed.

Terra helped Starfire over to her bed. Starfire wiped tears from her eyes.

Starfire: This is not fair. None of you are suffering in such a crippling manner.

Terra: Garfield hath lost the power of speech! Is that not suffering in thy eyes?

Starfire: …to him perhaps. But I am in pain…and I can barely move. It is ridiculous. Nobody else is having such difficulties!

**Store**

The store employee was cleaning the floor when Raven walked up silently behind him. She was right behind him when she cleared her throat. Letting out a yelp, the employee turned around, dropping the mop in his hands.

Employee: Don't DO that! Jeez!

Raven: …do what?

Employee: You scared the crap outta me! …uh…are you going to a costume party?

Raven: Something along those lines, yes. I just have to pick up a few things for home. Can you tell me where the pet supplies aisle is?

He turned and pointed off to the left.

Employee: Aisle seven. Just head down that way, can't miss…

Turning back, he found Raven already gone. She had crept down the next aisle when his back was turned. Not that she LOOKED like she was creeping. It was actually a normal walk, just silent.

Employee: (confused) …it?

Raven frowned, confused herself. Why did she do that? She could have said "excuse me" from a distance THEN asked her question. Why did she have to attempt to make the poor guy crap himself? Another question was why she couldn't stop flexing her right hand. It seemed to happen every time she heard somebody near her say something annoying most of the time. There were points where it just happened anyway. She glanced down at her waist where, underneath the bloody smock, she had tucked her cleaver away. …she really wanted to hold it again.

**Titan Tower: Main Room**

Robin sighed and fed his parrot another cracker. In his mind, he was running through all the trouble they were going to have. Showering was going to be a pain. Sure, they could take the costumes OFF, but they couldn't replace them with anything or it would turn back into the costume. Raven wouldn't leave her cleaver anywhere that she couldn't reach and when Robin tried getting changed earlier, the parrot flew off and landed on his bare shoulder while he was doing it (which hurt like HELL).

Robin: D'arr…going to have to shower with ye, ye blasted bird.

Parrot: Blasted bird! Blasted bird! SQUAWK!

This was embarrassing. When this curse passed and they got their hands on Mumbo Jumbo, he'd need a hell of a magic trick to avoid a hospital trip. The door opened and Beast Boy ran in…with a metal bone in his mouth. Suddenly Robin had a terrible headache. Cyborg hopped in, shaking his bony fist.

Cyborg: Man, you better come back here with my leg!

If Beast Boy was capable of it, he'd be laughing like crazy right now. There was something amusing about being chased by a hopping skeleton. Not the scariest of monsters, the skeleton. I mean, in theory, you could pop their heads right off. End of problem.

Robin: Avast, ye swabs! Knock off that nonsense!

Cyborg: Make him give me back my leg then!

Beast Boy gave Cyborg back his leg. Some people just couldn't take a joke. Terra entered the room and leaned over the couch.

Terra: Pray, Robin, a moment of thy time.

Robin: …d'arr?

Terra sweatdropped.

Terra: Thou didst that with purpose.

Robin: Aye, but it was funny.

Terra: No, it wasn't. But enough of that. I implore thee to aid me. Starfire has entered a mood most melancholy. Mayhap thou canst improve upon her mood.

Robin: Oh aye. That be what she needs. Getting hit on by Captain Hook.

Cyborg: Captain Hook hitting on the Wicked Witch of the West. We should tape that.

Terra was silent for a moment.

Terra: …where didst we leave the camera?

Robin: …d'arr…

Cyborg: …you're going to say that every time you can't think of anything else, aren't you?

Robin: …aye.

Raven returned home with bags of stuff floating behind her. She seemed nervous about something, refusing to make eye contact.

Terra: Ah, thou hast returned, Raven. Didst thou retrieve Garfield's flea bath powder?

Raven: Er…yes. I'll just…

Terra grabbed a bag out of the air. Despite her proper sounding (and frankly annoying) speech patterns, she was still the same old geomancer. This meant she was as impatient as ever.

Raven: No, wait!

Terra reached in and pulled out…a knife?

Terra: Uh…for what purpose didst thou purchase this?

Raven: Er…it…well…

Terra pulled out other items from the bag such as piano wire, duct tape, and various other pointy and potentially dangerous tools. Raven sighed.

Raven: I couldn't help myself. Your stuff is in one of these bags. I didn't forget you guys. Now…gimme my shinies…er…stuff.

The others stared at Raven for a moment.

Cyborg: …did you just call them "shinies"?

Coughing, Raven looked away. It was extremely embarrassing to her. She had said it, of course. Thinking back to the store (which when you think about it, it's weird that they would have piano wire), she remembered how the gleam of the blades caught her eye. She found herself fixated on all the glorious cutting instruments. As for the piano wire and duct tape…she grabbed those on a whim. Somewhere in the back of her mind she though of how tough piano wire was…how easily it would be wrapped around the neck…then she convinced herself it was for her piano. …only she didn't HAVE a piano. Suddenly she remembered she had just been asked a question.

Raven: Of course not. Don't be silly.

Robin: Then what did ye say, lass?

Raven: …er…I said…um…er…

Panicking, Raven pulled out her cleaver and swung it, taking Cyborg's head off.

Raven: Stop staring at me with your accusing eyes!

Cyborg's skull rolled around on the floor for a minute before stopping.

Cyborg: Ugh…now I'm dizzy. What did you do that for?

Raven: You know what you did! Staring at me with those empty sockets, thinking your thoughts of…of…skeleton stuff!

Terra: Raven, mayhap thou should retire to thy room…

Taking a few deep breaths, Raven calmed down.

Raven: Sorry. I think this costume is having a more profound affect on my mind then yours. While yours is affecting speech patterns and other physical aspects, mine mostly attacks my brain, giving me bizarre impulses.

Cyborg's body searched the floor for his head. Beast Boy started nudging the head further away from the groping hands.

Cyborg: BB, don't make me kick your ass.

Terra: Garfield, pray desist in thy tomfoolery or thou canst expect no "action" from me for some time.

Beast Boy huffed and handed Cyborg his head. He popped it on with a loud snap. Raven sighed and leaned against the wall, massaging her temples.

Raven: I'm going to do what you said and go to bed. Maybe I'll just drug myself and sleep until November.

Robin: D'arr, we should all go to sleep. Tis late, it is.

Terra: If thou sayth so.

The Titans went their separate ways.

**END PART TWO**


	4. Chapter 3

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**If the Shoe Fits…"**

**Chapter Three**

**Starfire's Room**

Starfire sighed as there was a knock on her door.

Starfire: Enter please.

The door opened and Robin peered in.

Robin: Avast, Star…just wanted to be checking up on ye before I turned in.

Starfire smiled but stopped when she remembered she was missing teeth and the ones she had were rather disgusting to look at.

Starfire: That is most gracious of you, Robin. Er…I do not suppose we have the arthritis medication in the tower? I am finding it very painful to move around.

Robin: Why didn't ye say so earlier?

Starfire: Well, it is not so much the arthritis that is making movement difficult, so much as what I seem to have done to my spine.

Parrot: Done to my spine! Done to my spine!

Robin clasped the bird's mouth shut. While this works in cartoons, in real life that's not a good idea. The parrot's beak came down on his finger, hard. He yelped and pulled it away.

Robin: Ye feathered fiend! I'll make a roast of out ye!

Starfire: Robin, it is stuck to you, remember?

Robin: …d'arr. Well, come on…

Robin helped Starfire up slowly and walked her out of the room.

Robin: Let's see what we be having in the med-lab to cure what ails ye.

Starfire: Thank you, Robin. You are a gift from X'hal to me sometimes.

Robin would have found that a little more flattering if it wasn't from a wrinkled green hag with beautiful red hair. It was like getting hit on by your grandma…if she had a terrible skin problem and dyed her hair despite how obvious it was that she was old.

**Raven's Room**

Raven sighed with relief and sat down on her bed. Now she felt much better. Shade, on the other hand, did not. He pulled the knife out of his stomach.

Raven: Thanks for accommodating me, Shade.

Any attempt to respond to her was ruined by the screwdriver in his throat. Raven had gone quite crazy on him. The things he DID for that woman. Granted it didn't physically hurt, but being stabbed by somebody you care about can wound the feelings, you know? Shade pulled the screwdriver out and gagged a little before his throat healed.

Shade: You owe me big for this.

Raven shrugged and lay on her bed.

Raven: You're not biting me and I'm not making out with a near corpse like you. I'll pay you back later, but for now, go to bed.

Shade sighed and left the room. He was halfway down the hall when he realized two things. One, he still had those knitting needles in his back, and two, since he was a vampire, he couldn't sleep until morning. He struggled to reach one of the needles, but couldn't get it.

Shade: _Damn woman. Why did she have to stick them there?_

Back in her room, Raven rolled over. She wondered if Shade realized she purposely drove those needles into his back so he couldn't reach them. Probably not. It was a cruel thing to do, true, but she HAD to. Even now, the bizarre new voice in her head was talking. It was telling her that she should make Shade pay for thinking with his hormones. Owing him big indeed. She shook it off. There was no telling WHAT Shade meant. Maybe he wanted his head scratched again. That was possible.

Raven: Stupid costume…thinks it can tell ME what to do? Nobody tells me what to do but me anymore. Nothing controls me but me. I'm the only one who…

Raven winced. She was ranting…aloud. She kicked her shoes off, hoping they didn't reappear on her feet during the night and crawled under her covers.

Raven: _Why does it seem like it's always me who's constantly being pushed toward utter madness?_

Raven closed her eyes.

**Beast Boy's Room**

Beast Boy was already asleep, his leg twitching. Doggy dreams. …though most canines don't dream of chasing down the elusive tofu burger. Watch it, they spit ketchup.

**Cyborg's Room**

…it's hard to sleep without eyes. Nothing to close, no way to stop looking at…stuff. So he did the only thing he could think of.

**Apartment Complex: Melissa's Apartment**

Melissa Dratter yawned and reached for her ringing phone. If it was another telemarketer, she was going to hunt him down and torture them. Probably with bees. Bees are good for torture. She wouldn't KILL them, of course. No, she swore not to do that anymore.

Melissa: (tired) 'lo?

Cyborg: Hey, Mel…uh…did I wake you?

Melissa: …yes, Vic. Yes you did. And unless there's a good reason for it, I'm not going to speak to you for about a week. I don't like to be woken up unexpectedly.

Cyborg: …uh…

Melissa sighed and rolled onto her back, rubbing her eyes.

Melissa: Very well. Then please tell me you didn't call for no reason at all.

Cyborg thought quickly. He needed a reason…and he had one!

Cyborg: Well…I just wanted to explain that…uh…the Titans have had a bit of…trouble recently.

Melissa's interest was peeked. Sitting up, she lost the tired tone to her voice.

Melissa: What is it? Are any of you hurt?

Cyborg: No…not exactly. It was Mumbo.

Melissa sighed in relief.

Melissa: Oh. Don't worry me like that.

Cyborg: Yeah, well…he got in one good spell on us.

Melissa shrugged.

Melissa: Break the wand?

Cyborg: Yeah.

Melissa: So what's the problem?

Cyborg: Spell didn't go away. We're stuck as our Halloween costumes.

Melissa didn't say anything for a moment.

Cyborg: …you there, Mel?

Melissa: …yes. You're stuck in your costumes?

Cyborg: No…AS our costumes.

Melissa: …as your costumes. And what are you now then?

Cyborg: …er…a…skeleton.

Melissa: …you're a skeleton.

Melissa seemed to be having trouble grasping the situation. Not that that was hard to believe.

Melissa: …is Raven trying to fix it?

Cyborg: It's supposed to end when the clock strikes midnight on Halloween.

Melissa: …sounds like a Halloween special.

She sighed. Oh well. It only stood to reason that dating a Titan would mean having to endure periodic weirdness.

Melissa: You could have left me an e-mail.

Cyborg: Yeah…but…I can't sleep either.

Melissa: …no eyes?

Cyborg: …yep.

Melissa: …Vic, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. Furthermore, I'm leaving town tomorrow morning to chase after Knife-play. As a former assassin, I feel that it's my responsibility to take him down. I can't keep you company, in person or otherwise tonight. I apologize, but I'm sure you understand.

Melissa paused as a thoughtful look crossed her face.

Melissa: …am I being…cold by putting my goals ahead of your comfort? Sometimes I can't tell.

Cyborg: Er…no…no, I guess not.

Melissa: …are you sure? I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything.

Cyborg: No, no. It's cool. Really.

Melissa sighed.

Melissa: I'm glad to hear that. Good night, Victor. Try putting something over your sockets. It might help you sleep.

Cyborg: I'll try that. Good night, Mel.

Cyborg hung up, sighing. That went about as well as expected. Last time he woke her up when she had fallen asleep watching a movie, she slugged him in the jaw. Naturally she apologized after waking up all the way, but Melissa made it clear that she didn't enjoy being awoken abruptly. If she actually was capable of an angry outburst, he was sure he'd have been cussed out for waking her. Oh well. He went to find a bag to put over his skull.

**Main Room: 9:30 a.m. October 31st**

Terra yawned as she stepped into the room. Her toga was oddly comfortable to sleep in. Oddly because, having no feeling in the primary layer of her skin, she shouldn't be able to tell the difference. Maybe when this was over, she'd keep the costume for pajamas. Starfire and Robin were already up. Starfire was eating…some sort of mushy substance. It smelled like oatmeal…and it probably was. Not feeling hungry (which, for Terra, was very odd), Terra sat down next to Starfire.

Terra: Good morn' to thee, mine companion. How art thou doing this morn?

Starfire: As well as can be expected…but this "oatmeal" is exquisite. I wish I had tried it earlier.

Terra peered into the bowl, noticing that something was a bit…off.

Terra: What an odd colour. Art thou sure it is fresh?

Starfire: Hmm…? Oh! You refer to the yellow. That is because I added mustard.

Terra: …why didst I not guess? Robin…be that a lemon?

Robin was indeed sucking on a lemon. Terra was now thoroughly confused. He paused.

Robin: Aye.

Terra: (eye twitching) And thou art sucking upon a lemon because…?

Robin: D'arr…well, the theory I be coming up with is that it's to prevent scurvy.

Terra: We have orange juice.

Robin: Pirates didn't have orange juice, lass.

Terra jumped as a pale hand reached out from behind her and grabbed the book on the table. Robin dropped the lemon in absolute shock.

Robin: What in the…?! How did ye get in here?!

Raven pointed toward the door before sitting down next to Terra. Her eyes were bleary, like she hadn't gotten much sleep. Starfire was clutching her chest, breathing hard.

Starfire: I implore you to be less…stealthy, Raven! My heart…it cannot take such surprises.

Raven: Is that so?

Raven sounded amused. She quickly cleared her throat and tried to cover it up.

Raven: Another aspect of my costume, I'm afraid.

Robin: But…how could ye be sneaking in here…when I was…but I be trained by the Batman…and…

Raven: …you dropped your lemon.

Parrot: Dropped your lemon! Dropped your lemon! SQUAWK!

Robin let out a sigh of exasperation and picked up the dropped fruit. He saw all the grime on it and threw it out. Starfire finished her oatmeal.

Starfire: Raven, may I see some of your tomes? I would like to try some of the spells while I am still a witch.

Raven: …sure. Just…don't do anything stupid, like summon Beelzebub.

Starfire: …who?

Raven: …Old Scratch.

Starfire: …eh?

Raven slammed her cleaver down on the table.

Raven: The devil, Starfire! Don't summon the devil!

Starfire gulped.

Starfire: Uh…my heart?

Raven: (ashamed) Oh…I…I'm sorry.

She pulled the blade out of the table and slipped it back between her belt.

Starfire: The fault is not yours. …where is Shade?

Raven: …uh oh…

Raven stood up and left the room in a hurry.

**Basement**

Raven flew down the stairs. Shade wasn't in his room…at least she hoped not. There was some dust in there…not a pile of it…but there was dust. The basement was the only other logical place. It was dark and had no windows at all.

Raven: Shade! Shade, are you down here?

Shade: Nnngh! Damn it, Raven, I'm trying to sleep!

Raven sighed in relief. For a moment she was afraid the idiot forgot to get out of the sunlight. It was completely something he'd forget to do, the lummox. Her relief gave way to inexplicable anger.

Raven: Where are you, jerk? You had me worried.

Shade: I'm above you.

Raven: Just because you're immortal, it doesn't make you better! If I had a stake, I'd…

Shade: Huh? No! I'm ABOVE you! Look up!

Feeling stupid for not understanding the first time, Raven looked up. As she figured, Shade was dangling upside down from the ceiling. Raven took a few steps back. …he didn't look too solidly gripped.

Raven: …oh. …uh…just wanted to make sure you didn't roast.

Shade: Of course I didn't roast. How dumb do you think I am?

There was silence for a moment.

Shade: Don't answer that. How'd you sleep?

Raven: Terrible. I had nightmares all night.

More like pseudo-nightmares. The dreams she had WOULD be nightmares normally. Anything involving mutilation of friends…or even enemies would be a nightmare to her. Especially when she's the mutilator. This time, however, they filled her with a terrible feeling of excitement. Each time she did the deed (and I won't describe them because that would up the rating), she'd wake up. Twice she felt the need to be sick, but kept it down. She had read somewhere that many serial killers, before they're actually SERIAL killers, will throw up after their first kill. It's not out of disgust, but rather from the sudden build up of emotions that they know they shouldn't be feeling. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair.

Raven: Well…good…sleep or whatever.

Shade: You still owe me.

Raven seethed for a moment before leaving. She had to remain in control. Losing control now could be more hazardous then ever before. She couldn't let it happen.

**Beast Boy's Room**

Beast Boy sat up with a start. Somebody was knocking on his door. He tried to say something and was quickly reminded of his predicament. He got out of bed and opened the door. Terra was holding the bottle of flea bath stuff in her hand and tapping her sandaled foot in annoyance. Beast Boy gulped.

Terra: Garfield, didst we not discuss this last night? Thou were supposed to bathe with this before thy slumbering. Yet I find the bottle untouched. How canst this be?

Beast Boy grinned a toothy grin and shrugged. Terra wasn't amused.

Terra: Garfield, thanks to thy breaking thy promise, you have infested thy room with the vile insects. Thus, thy room must be bombed.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. Terra sighed.

Terra: A bug bomb, Garfield. A bug bomb.

He looked relieved. Terra suddenly grabbed him by the ear.

Terra: I suppose if thou shall not take thy bath on thy own volition, I must make thee.

Beast Boy whimpered and whined, trying to get Terra to release his ear. It was hopeless. Terra's stone fingers wouldn't budge. Terra pulled him toward the bathroom. Terra sighed.

Terra: Cease thy struggles, Garfield. Tis only a bath. Thou art acting infantile. Mayhap parenthood shall be similar.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. Again with the children thing. Terra practically threw him into the bathroom. She threw the bottle in next.

Terra: I shall be standing outside the door. If thou doest not bathe, thou dost not leave. And thou hast not yet eaten. Doest thou hunger, Garfield?

The growl of his stomach answered that for her. Terra grinned wickedly.

Terra: And until thy bath is done…no breakfast!

She shut the door. Beast Boy grumbled and turned on the water.

**Jump City Park: 4:15 p.m.**

The park was pretty much deserted. Kids were off preparing to Trick or Treat and the parents were helping. Suddenly a figure slowly began to appear next to a bench. It resembled Kid Flash…but he was wearing red with yellow rather then yellow with red. It was the Kid Flash from the Reverse World (about time I included them somewhere in these stories). He groaned and shook his head.

Kid Flash: _Note to self. Vibrating into invisibility…still needs work._

He staggered forward, his head still hurting from taking that glancing blow from Johnny Rancid's gun. Caught him by surprise…that was it. No bike could keep up with the fastest boy alive…even if it does fly sometimes. After taking the blow, he ran off. Ducking into an alley, he got the idea to try going invisible like the Flash could and coming up on the freaky biker hero from behind. He frowned. It WAS in an alley, wasn't it? He was pretty sure that was the case. If so, why did he snap out of it in a park? He decided not to think about it. Didn't really matter anyway. He leaned against a nearby tree as his body's super fast metabolism healed the wound on his head. Of course, soon he'd be hungry. Guess he'd just go steal something to eat from somewhere. He scratched his head. He could swear the park was trashed during a fight between the Titans and the HIVE earlier. …restoration projects, maybe? Again, it didn't matter. Feeling better, he took off.

**END PART THREE**


	5. Chapter 4

**32 Productions Presents…**

A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in… 

"**If the Shoe Fits…"**

**Chapter Four**

**Titan's Tower: Raven's Room**

Raven fidgeted as she watched Starfire mixing up some potion or another, chanting now and then. She was bored. No book interested her at the moment. She just couldn't seem to get into the story. That was odd. It never happened before. She tried talking with Starfire and was promptly shushed. She looked out the window. The sun was finally beginning to set. Then she could stab Shade some more. …Starfire could probably survive a stab to the shoulder...Raven reached under her bed. Starfire's back was turned so she didn't notice. Raven's hand felt the handles of everything she had stashed under there. Finally she felt the right one and pulled it out. Standing up silently she walked over to Starfire and raised the blade over her head.

Starfire: Please do not stab me.

Raven: …my reflection in the cauldron?

Starfire: Yes.

Raven turned and went back to her bed, shoving the knife back under it. She flopped onto her bed, her face planted in her pillow. That lasted for a minute. Then she reached under her bed and pulled a different tool. Hefting it, she left the room.

**Cyborg's Room**

Cyborg sighed as he stood in front of the mirror. Somehow being a cyborg skeleton was decisively worse then just being a cyborg. At least then he could sleep without tying cloth around his head. He sighed and hung his head. When he looked back up, he saw something behind him. He spun and saw Raven with a heavy looking mallet in her hands. She had drawn back to swing…and wasn't going to stop just because he noticed. The mallet knocked his head off. It rolled on the floor again.

Cyborg: Yo! Raven, what are you doing?

Raven grinned (which is scary in itself) a terrifying grin. Hefting the mallet she followed the groping body around the room.

Raven: You have to understand, Cyborg. I need to do this. To maim, to injure, to harm. I have to. It's what my costume is all about. Senseless, mindless, and utterly excessive violence is, for now, the sum total of my life. But I don't want to hurt anyone. Deep inside I still know it's wrong to take a life. What's a psychopath who's afraid to kill to do?

Raven lifted the mallet and swung down, taking the shoulder off Cyborg's body. Raven inhaled deeply.

Raven: It's a nice sound, isn't it? That loud crack that comes from impact, then the snapping of the bone as it either breaks or dislocates…and finally that tiny little thud as it hits the floor.

Ooookay…Raven had officially reached "freaky" levels. Cyborg decided he had to try and talk Raven down from whatever maniacal state she was in.

Cyborg: Raven, you got to calm down. You're not yourself.

Raven slammed the mallet down near his head.

Raven: Of course I'm not myself! That's the POINT! Now let me finish my monologue.

Pausing to remember where she had left off, Raven began again, still following the groping body.

Raven: In order to solve my problem, I decided that I would just have to pick on those who wouldn't die from my actions. Last night I took bladed weapons to Shade's body.

Raven felt tears welling up in her eyes. She wiped them away, sniffling.

Raven: My own boyfriend…I STABBED him! And I liked it! I'm sick in the head and it's all that wretched Mumbo's FAULT!

At the word "fault", Raven slammed the mallet down again, Disconnecting the spine from the pelvis. The legs kicked around as the upper torso continued to search for the head. Raven snickered as she watched.

Cyborg: You're letting the costume control you, Raven. You're stronger then this.

Raven: …I…I'm trying, Cyborg. I really am…but…I…GRRRRAAAH!

Raven swung the mallet, breaking one of the weight machines more fragile parts. She swung again and again in frustration. Finally the mallet could take no more and snapped in half. Raven stared at the stump in her hands.

Raven: (calmly) And so ends our little game.

Without another word, Raven helped Cyborg reassemble himself. She dusted him off and took a few steps back.

Raven: I'm sorry about that. Thank you for talking me down. I could have seriously damaged your body.

Cyborg: You sure you're feeling better now?

Raven: Positive. A little mindless violence is very stress relieving. Oh, one more thing.

In a sudden violent thrust, Raven jammed the mallet handle into Cyborg's left eye socket.

Raven: Happy Halloween, Cy.

Raven snickered as she left the room, feeling much better. Cyborg pulled the piece of wood from his head and sighed.

Cyborg: Man, midnight couldn't come soon enough.

**Main Room: 11:17 p.m.**

Beast Boy whimpered as Terra continued her relentless torture of using the flea comb on him. Apparently the wolfman had a lot of knots in his fur. Terra sighed as he struggled again.

Terra: I doth apologize for the pain this causes thee, but it is important that we rid thy body of flea eggs.

Humiliated, Beast Boy fumed. What was next, a walk in the park? …actually, he had done that before, but at least he looked like a real dog then. No matter what he tried to turn into, it was always a were-something or other. Were lion, were bear, and so on. The only way this could get worse was…the turned red as the alarm went off. Terra sighed and threw the comb behind her.

Terra: And with less then an hour to go…

Robin typed at the computer with his good hand. It took longer then usual, but soon the data came on the screen.

Robin: D'arr…we've a speedster running amuck.

Terra: Canst it not wait? How canst we hope to defeat our foe in these conditions?

Shade leapt down from the ceiling, blood running down his face. Apparently he had been feeding.

Shade: She's got a point, man. Raven's out of her head, Starfire is…

Starfire: Perfectly fine, thank you.

Starfire flew in. She looked the same, but her movements were no longer slowed in anyway.

Robin: Star?

Starfire: A potion to ease my old body's weariness and pain, Robin. I am fighting fit.

Robin: D'arr…then we're shoving off, maties!

**Downtown**

The evil type Kid Flash vibrated through the bank walls. Something was definitely up, but old Kid Flash could use some spending cash either way. He grabbed what he could and went back outside. The T-car pulled up, Shade and Starfire flying behind. The Titans piled at out of the car. Kid Flash bit his lip.

Robin: D'arr…that be enough, scurvy dog! It's the hold with ye!

Terra: …aye, Robin. Truly thou art a master of intimidation.

Kid Flash: …this…is too weird.

Starfire squinted and rubbed her eyes.

Starfire: Either my old eyes deceive me, or that is Kid Flash.

Shade: Looks like somebody got his colors confused.

Kid Flash: What the hell are you…oh…oh, I get it! Yeah, this is one of them alternate universes! I remember hearing that a speedster can break the barriers of time and space. That must be what I did. …so I'm in a dimension of pirates and vampires…that's freaky.

Shade sputtered.

Shade: No, you idiot! We've been cursed! We're not normally like this.

Robin: Either put the booty away and surrender, or face the consequences. No quarter asked, no quarter given.

Terra: …why wouldst we ask for quarters?

Cyborg: Not that kind of quarter.

Robin: Titans, GO!

The Titans leapt into action with their usual flair. Unfortunately…it's Kid Flash. He easily zipped behind them in a blur.

Kid Flash: The Titans huh? I thought the mask looked familiar. So you're the good guys in this dimension? That's just plain weird.

Starfire flung her starbolts at him. Sadly, they moved like dust particles in a breeze. Kid Flash spun his arms, creating a massive gust of wind. The starbolts flew back at her, knocking her out of the sky. Beast Boy caught her before her frail body could hit the ground.

Starfire: Perhaps I was…exaggerating when I said "fighting fit".

Robin leapt at Kid Flash, swinging his bo-staff which he had put into his pocket a while back. Unfortunately wielding it one handed wasn't the best way to use such a long weapon. Even if there was no problem…Kid Flash was too fast. He zipped around him and gave Robin a wedgie.

Robin: D'ARR!

Kid Flash: This is priceless, I swear.

Raven sneered from directly behind Kid Flash and raised the cleaver over her head.

Terra: Raven, no!

Kid Flash's eyes widened and he moved in time to avoid the cleaver strike aimed for his neck. He spun and grabbed Raven from behind. With an arm around her neck and the other gripping her cleaver wielding hand, Raven couldn't get away.

Raven: Get your filthy hands off me! Covered in germs and twisted thoughts!

Kid Flash: Wow, you're even crazier then the Raven in my world.

Shade: Get your hands off her!

Shade leapt at him, teeth bared. Kid Flash spun and used the centrifugal force to fling Raven at him. They both flew into the air. The other three attacked at once. Unfortunately, each of them had problems brought on by their costumes. Beast Boy's attempt to turn into a pterodactyl was hampered by the clothes he wore…and a were-pterodactyl was just a strange idea to begin with. He tripped himself up. Terra's powers didn't seem to want to work properly. Instead of creating a hand to grab the speedster, she created a statue of herself. Figures. It seemed all she could do was pay tribute to herself. Kid Flash bit back tears of laughter before zipping behind the attacking Cyborg and rearranged his bones so that he was a total mess. His feet were connected to his wrists and his hands to his ankles. His head was trapped between his rib cage somehow. Terra tried to tackle him, but he poked her. Well, that's how it looked. In reality he had jabbed her countless times with his finger. Cracks formed on her body and she fell to the ground, bleeding a viscous black fluid (Greek gods didn't have blood). Starfire struggled back to her feet.

Starfire: Just…a little more…

She whispered something and stomped her foot down. The ground broke around Kid Flash and twisted grasping hands reached for him. He yelped and ran around them frantically. Raven floated in the air with Shade.

Raven: Two can play your game…

She used her powers to spin Shade around and launched him at the speedster. Kid Flash hit the ground hard. Shade was about to bite him, despite the protests of his friends when Kid Flash began to vibrate. The heat generated burned Shade's body and he rolled off him, hissing in pain. Kid Flash held him down (guess not all vampires are super strong) and pointed a finger at him.

Kid Flash: Time to see what's in that head of yours.

Kid Flash began to vibrate his finger rapidly. He'd easily be able to phase through Shade's skull…when the clock struck twelve. Shade's costume changed back to normal and he turned into a shadow, slipping out of Kid Flash's grasp. Before the confused Kid Flash could understand what just happened, he was shot from behind by a sonic blast. Cyborg knocked on his metal chest.

Cyborg: Booyah! It's good to be back!

Kid Flash started to stand up when the concrete turned into mud and he began to sink. He whirled around and managed to get himself out only to be struck by a rock to his gut.

Terra: You, your, my…yep, I'm speaking normally again!

Kid Flash groaned and got up, holding his stomach. He was grabbed by a gorilla and thrown into the air. Starfire grabbed him and spun him around before tossing him to Raven. Raven chanted and a flat surface of her energy formed. Like a fly, he was swatted to the ground. He slowly staggered to his feet, his body in pain. He looked up in time to see Robin ready to attack.

Kid Flash: Sc…screw this. It's not worth it…

Kid Flash began vibrating his body. Soon he disappeared, jumping dimensions again. Robin's foot landed in the spot the speedster was in seconds ago. The Titans gathered around. Beast Boy scratched his head and shrugged.

Beast Boy: So…did we win?

His eyes widened and he beamed.

Beast Boy: DUDE! I can talk again!

Raven: And the only silver lining of the curse is gone.

Starfire spun around in the air, twisting and bending.

Starfire: I can move without experiencing pain! Glorious!

Swooping down, she grabbed Robin and lifted him up. Starfire grasped his once again normal hand and put her head on his empty shoulder.

Starfire: And Robin! Your hook and parrot are no more!

Robin blushed.

Robin: Uh…okay…let's all…go home.

Cyborg: Man, I'm throwing my costume right out when we get home.

Everyone seemed to agree.

**Titan Tower: Outside Raven's Room**

Raven sighed. She had to say SOMETHING.

Raven: …look, Shade. I'm sorry about…you know…stabbing you repeatedly.

Shade shrugged.

Shade: I'm used to bursts of violence from you.

Raven: …yeah, that makes me feel so much better. Thanks. I'm serious. It couldn't have been reassuring.

Shade: Like I said, it didn't hurt.

Raven felt relieved. She had been feeling kind of guilty about the whole thing. She'd apologize to Cyborg next…when she saw him again.

Shade: Besides, now you owe me.

Staring at him for a moment, Raven hit the button on her door and opened it. She stepped inside and turned around.

Raven: Good NIGHT, Shade.

The door slid closed, leaving Shade very confused. He wasn't sure…but he could swear Raven was angry about something. He wasn't sure why. He just wanted her to scratch behind his ears again. That feels gooooooood.

**Main Room**

Robin sat at the computer desk, hunched over. He had a look of intense thought on his face. The door opened and Starfire entered.

Starfire: Ah, there you are, Robin. What are you doing awake now? It is most late.

Robin: …I'm just trying to figure out who we just beat, Star. He looked like Kid Flash, sounded like Kid Flash, even had Kid Flash's powers…

Starfire floated in a seat position next to Robin, a thoughtful look now crossing her face.

Starfire: …but he was most certainly NOT Kid Flash. He DID claim to be from another universe. Is such a thing possible?

Robin: Can't imagine why not. Of course he could just be trying to trick us.

Starfire shrugged.

Starfire: If this is true, where did he go? Fast he may be, he cannot just disappear without leaving some trace, yes? Would there not be a trail of dust? A gust of the wind? Some sort of sign of his fleeing would be left, would there not?

Robin: …yeah…so we have to assume he wasn't lying.

Starfire leaned back, still floating. She put her arms behind her head and stared at the ceiling.

Starfire: …meaning there is, in high probability, a universe where we are the villains. I cannot even conceive of such things. How could we be villains? What would drive us to do criminal acts of any kind?

Robin: …who knows? I can guess about me. In that world Raven could have succumb to her demon side rather the resist it. Shade used to be pretty messed up too. Then again, maybe our lives are completely different in that dimension. Hell, we might even LOOK different physically. Hair color, eye color, anything could be changed. …and somehow I don't think this is going to be the only time we meet somebody from that dimension.

Starfire: …is this enough of the foreshadowing for you?

**THE END**


End file.
